Reactions to Heroism
by Lin7 M12i
Summary: A hero is many things to different people, but it's how they affect the people around them that makes them truly great. Perhaps heroes are made by cosmic jokes and nobody ever really interprets it. Anything is possible, even fighting against the flow.


[Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.]

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**Fishes**

I am alone now. It's odd, when you've been with someone for so long, to suddenly have them missing. I don't think either of us ever imagined we would end up separated, at least not in any meaningful sort of way. Now that we are apart for the rest of my life, I don't know what to think anymore.

It's not right, this separation. I know that much. We were never meant to be anything but together. It wasn't anything like a forbidden love, it was just us. Nobody ever talked about just one of us, and I barely ever thought about us as separate people. There wasn't two people really; we were more like one big person that happened to have two bodies. It's sad when I think about it like that, and we'd even talked about that before, about how maybe we should get marks or something to make it easy to keep track of us.

_Mum and Dad always knew the difference, even when we tried to switch places. Mum because she always just __**knew**__ those things and Dad because he lived for picking out the little details._

We had always been together, and even the few things that we shouldn't have shared somehow ended up going from one to the other. I mean, we were together so much that we knew all the same people and did all of the same things, so the girls would be dating one of us and would usually get us mixed up at least once. We would always play along with it, never taking it too far, but it still happened. Unless somebody told them about it they were never the wiser.

_That's why we never had many lasting relationships, unless you count the girls from Quidditch. They could tell us apart as long as we didn't try too hard, cause Angelina figured out that our freckles weren't a perfect match and memorized the pattern on Fred's face. We all dated around the group, but stayed friends through it._

The few friends we had who tried to separate us always ended up frustrated. It was like they wanted us to be people that we weren't. It was always the two of us, and if they couldn't accept that than they better bugger off. We were meant to always be at eachother's side and you broke that promise. It was a silent vow that both of us always meant to keep, that we would be together till the very end, through all the stupid shite and even more of the funny stuff in life.

_That's why I'm standing here in the rain again, watching your grave marker and wondering why it's only got one name on it. Imagining that I should dig it up and just lie in the grave until I'm dead too._

I won't, because now I have to be the one big person all by myself and I'm terrified that someone will call me out on it. It makes me sick inside to know that I'm living for the two of us and nobody's backing me up any more. It's like some essential part of me was lost forever. You're gone, and I'm here. Suddenly, my ideas just seem to flow out across the parchment, and I make something and it fails because I'm not looking at it from two sides at once.

_You're gone, and I don't want to be alone any more. Nobody else can take your place in my heart, and Mum would kill me if I died too. What's the point though? We both just made it up as we went along, sometimes leading and sometimes following. The whole thing's bollixed up and isn't getting better._

I'm not sure if I'm angry that you died or angry that someone killed you. Everybody can talk about you like you died a hero, but for me that doesn't matter. You're still dead. A dead hero is the same as a dead cat, except the hero's name shows up in the funny papers more often. I don't think you were much of a hero, because if you meant to go out and die then I didn't know you as well as I **know** I do.

_I'm supposed to give another speech about you, and I don't think I'll do it right. I think I'm cracking, and Mum will have to start putting potions in my food again to keep me calm. Just like when we were kids and she wanted some peace and quiet, she'd slip us a bit of something to help us slow down a little bit. She baked cookies today, like she does every day since that one. It's like her hands have to keep busy or she'll collapse into tears every moment._

Because you were me and I was you, and we've both been to the lake and seen the fishes. When I said that to Mum, she just stood and smiled at me, because she knew that it didn't mean anything except that we were alive. But we aren't alive anymore. Now it's just me. So we've got two feet in the cemetery already, and it's hard to run the three legged race when you've got one of your feet tied to a headstone. I'm not sure how to live life without you, so I might just keep acting like you're still an extension of me. If it's us, I think I can go on.

I'll do anything I can to keep your memory alive. Because I'm the Weasley twins, and it's pretty lonely to be the only member of our duet that ever shows up to performances. Everything's a joke, even this cosmic joke on me. So I'll go on, but I won't be held responsible for the consequences. I'll do whatever I can, because I know that you'd want me to be myself more than anything else – that was enough for you and I cared more about your opinion than anyone else's.

_I shouldn't have closed the shop, but nobody else was around and I had to come here. I'll be back, and I'll fight them if they tell me not to come. But you're the only one who really understood, and no one else can really prove otherwise to me. I'm you… and that means I'm already dead and the best I can do is get buried in the ground like a dog bone._

Maybe some day I'll tell them that I dug you up, and that they didn't bury anything substantial. That I'm studying the dark arts of necromancy to bring you back to me. I'm not, but sometimes I wish I were. I know that's not what you would want, so I'll leave you alone under this piece of rock. But the looks on their faces might be worth it once or twice.

"It's a laugh, isn't it?"

I let out a chuckle. I imagine that the person watching me today is quite disturbed by it. Perhaps they should trust that I'm not going to off myself out here, because they're not close enough to stop me if I was really trying.

"Don't wait up for me, since you've got to represent the Weasley twins too."

You're still with me; I know it deep inside my heart. And that's the truth, because no one can prove otherwise. I'm with you too, and we're both having a laugh at the world's expense. The cosmos tried to play a joke on us, but we've already been to the lake and seen the fishes too. Their trick can't work on us, because we've always known the truth about our life.

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[A/N: Hope you enjoyed it, but I don't have much to say about it. For an hour long exercise in writing something – anything – it brings me closer to making some progress.]


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